Huffy vs. The World
I'm sitting here listening to the totally awesome and slightly erotic Minibosses, with Megaman 2 totally rocking. Totally. I'm using this as the backdrop for working: that loose definition of work being posting the latest issue of the Eastern Echo to the aptly-selected www.easternecho.com, of which I am the webmaster, of which you were probably linked from.
Each issue doesn’t require a whole lot of brain activity from me, so I usually try and do two things at once--in this case it's huffing Pledge. But today I'm having difficulty, there's this incessant beeping coming from outside that is slowly, but surely, making me want to locate another down-on-his-luck hobo. Aren't you glad I specified that he's down on his luck, as if the 'hobo' label didn't already clearly indicate that? Clone me.
But anyway, the beeping. It seems there is a construction truck outside that has been in reverse for about three hours. I'm not sure where he's going, but there has to be a better way of getting there. Often times it's necessary to exaggerate to make something seem significant, but I'm not joking here. I got home from class at 1:00 p.m. (see later elaboration) and it's now around 3:00 p.m.
Interjection from rude reader: That's only two hours, clod.
Rude reaction to rude reader: Shut up.
[ Pointless update: I’m now proofreading this at 5:00 p.m, and it’s still fucking beeping. ]
Point is, not even the Minibosses' wall of sound can overpower this infernal noise. What's worse is I can't even see where it’s coming from, there’s just this awful beeping coming from some hidden part of the world. I'd look out my window to see, but that might obfuscate my excellent view of the neighbor's kitchen.
Since this isn't going anywhere other than Hell along with the rest of my ideas, I'll end with an anecdote about my ride home from class. I live on Washtenaw, so the bike ride from there to Pray Harrold takes about two minutes. I was on Forest (where Pease and Pierce are) crossing the street, when I again noticed that the roads weren't done being worked on. And let's define 'being worked on' as 'making big clouds of dust.' Since the sidewalks have been deemed (by me) unfit for bicycler riding, I tried to squeeze in between a car and what was left of the pavement. It dipped down more than I thought, and I kind of fell into it, like a moron. It really wasn't much of a scene; all that really happened was I rolled into this ditchy-area (hereon out referred to as "Ditch Time™") and had to get off my bike to get out. I quietly said damnit! to myself, silently admitting to myself that nary has there been a time that I've been out on my $60 Huffy from Toys R' Us without some kind of incident, be it like today's tiny ordeal or my pants getting caught in the chain, thereby spewing me into the pavement on campus in front of hundreds, perhaps tens of people (which did happen once...got up, brushed myself off, said I was okay, and ran towards the nearest moving car).
It was then that I heard a barrel of laughter coming from a tiny car with four frat-looking dudes. Now I admit that had I seen myself, I might of chuckled and possibly pointed it out to someone else in the car, who may or may not always be my grandmother, Estelle, who has a heart of gold let me tell you. However, the amount and length of laughter generated (some might even call it a barrel, but if you do, you’re an idiot…crap) suggested that one of three things was happening.
1: They were laughing at something else.
2: They were laughing at me because they have yet to develop a level of humor beyond seventh grade.
3: They were total douchebags.
TOTALLY SERIOUS MOMENT
What I found funny was the influence it had on me. I hadn't even felt embarrassed until I heard them laughing (which likely was at me). What gets me now is that I feel stupid for feeling stupid earlier. Obviously I don't care what those people think, and for the most part, I don't really get embarrassed. So I guess the lesson today is, just be yourself, dance like nobody's watching, and don't worry about people who are jackasses their whole life who see you being a jackass for a couple seconds.
Besides, I bet they don't have a totally awesome and hot girlfriend. Yes, I win!
Jackasses: 0, Ryan: 1.
Each issue doesn’t require a whole lot of brain activity from me, so I usually try and do two things at once--in this case it's huffing Pledge. But today I'm having difficulty, there's this incessant beeping coming from outside that is slowly, but surely, making me want to locate another down-on-his-luck hobo. Aren't you glad I specified that he's down on his luck, as if the 'hobo' label didn't already clearly indicate that? Clone me.
But anyway, the beeping. It seems there is a construction truck outside that has been in reverse for about three hours. I'm not sure where he's going, but there has to be a better way of getting there. Often times it's necessary to exaggerate to make something seem significant, but I'm not joking here. I got home from class at 1:00 p.m. (see later elaboration) and it's now around 3:00 p.m.
Interjection from rude reader: That's only two hours, clod.
Rude reaction to rude reader: Shut up.
[ Pointless update: I’m now proofreading this at 5:00 p.m, and it’s still fucking beeping. ]
Point is, not even the Minibosses' wall of sound can overpower this infernal noise. What's worse is I can't even see where it’s coming from, there’s just this awful beeping coming from some hidden part of the world. I'd look out my window to see, but that might obfuscate my excellent view of the neighbor's kitchen.
Since this isn't going anywhere other than Hell along with the rest of my ideas, I'll end with an anecdote about my ride home from class. I live on Washtenaw, so the bike ride from there to Pray Harrold takes about two minutes. I was on Forest (where Pease and Pierce are) crossing the street, when I again noticed that the roads weren't done being worked on. And let's define 'being worked on' as 'making big clouds of dust.' Since the sidewalks have been deemed (by me) unfit for bicycler riding, I tried to squeeze in between a car and what was left of the pavement. It dipped down more than I thought, and I kind of fell into it, like a moron. It really wasn't much of a scene; all that really happened was I rolled into this ditchy-area (hereon out referred to as "Ditch Time™") and had to get off my bike to get out. I quietly said damnit! to myself, silently admitting to myself that nary has there been a time that I've been out on my $60 Huffy from Toys R' Us without some kind of incident, be it like today's tiny ordeal or my pants getting caught in the chain, thereby spewing me into the pavement on campus in front of hundreds, perhaps tens of people (which did happen once...got up, brushed myself off, said I was okay, and ran towards the nearest moving car).
It was then that I heard a barrel of laughter coming from a tiny car with four frat-looking dudes. Now I admit that had I seen myself, I might of chuckled and possibly pointed it out to someone else in the car, who may or may not always be my grandmother, Estelle, who has a heart of gold let me tell you. However, the amount and length of laughter generated (some might even call it a barrel, but if you do, you’re an idiot…crap) suggested that one of three things was happening.
1: They were laughing at something else.
2: They were laughing at me because they have yet to develop a level of humor beyond seventh grade.
3: They were total douchebags.
TOTALLY SERIOUS MOMENT
What I found funny was the influence it had on me. I hadn't even felt embarrassed until I heard them laughing (which likely was at me). What gets me now is that I feel stupid for feeling stupid earlier. Obviously I don't care what those people think, and for the most part, I don't really get embarrassed. So I guess the lesson today is, just be yourself, dance like nobody's watching, and don't worry about people who are jackasses their whole life who see you being a jackass for a couple seconds.
Besides, I bet they don't have a totally awesome and hot girlfriend. Yes, I win!
Jackasses: 0, Ryan: 1.
posted by Ryan Duval | 12:45 PM
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