I'll see you in hell...from heaven....stupid sinner

Now, when it comes to Van Halen, people are usually on one of two sides. Either they liked the song in Twister (you know, the only song the fat guy listens to in the van), or they were probably the lead singer for a period of time. With such high moments, it’s easy to forget about their roots.

To maximize hilarity, I have made Runnin’ With The Devil available for your downloading pleasure. I ask that you grab it now, and play it when cued.

Let’s take a look at their self-titled first album, Van Halen:



I tried to find a larger image, but this was it. Probably because no one actually owns the album, hence no one to scan it in for their “Best albums of all time dude!!” webpage. I think you get the idea though. First, let’s dissect the pictures:

Top left: I believe this is Eddie Van Halen, who is especially proud of his flaming outfit guitar.

Bottom left: This is the drummer, whose name I don’t really care about. (I mean, he is the drummer). It appears he plays so fast that his whole body becomes one orange blur. Still probably doesn’t get the chicks though.

Bottom right: This is the unnamed bass player, who feels that he is totally rocking out. So much so, in fact, that his shoulder casts a green haze, much like the flame surrounding Ghost Rider’s head. Unfortunately, his awesomeness has spread to the neck of his guitar, which is made out of wood.

Top right: Finally, we have the man himself. David. Lee. Roth. I think his picture really speaks for itself, especially his placement of the microphone. Clearly, the listener is entirely unprepared for what is about to spew forth from their speakers. The first track is the aforementioned Runnin’ With Your Pants Down, but to my dismay, I found the lyrics online were incomplete. As a public service, I provide them in full, and I mean FULL.

Note: now would be the time to start the song.


Runnin’ With The Devil

[sounds of an interstellar car blaring its horn—asshole]

[main riff, repeat throughout song]

Yea-e-yea…owww! (squeal)

I live my life like there’s no tomorrow
And all I’ve got I had to steal
Least I don’t need to beg or borrow
Yes I’m living at a pace that kills

Oooh..yea..ahh! (squeal)

Runnin’ with the devil
Ahhh…haaaaa! Yaaaaah! (sneaks in another squeal) Wooohoo!
Runnin’ with the devil

I’ll tell y’all about it

I found the simple life ain’t so simple
When I jumped out on that road (guitar squeal)
I got no love, no love you’d call real
Ain’t got nobody waiting at home

Ahhhhhh…yea-e-yea! (squeal, you get the point)

Runnin’ with the devil
Goddamnit…[some gibberish, I’ll fill in] I-ain’t-never-loved-some-ladies-like-broccoli…I’m only gonna tell you one tiiiiime! Ahhhhhh..yah!
Runnin’ with the devil

Listening to my headphones…yeah!

[solo, with intermittent “hoo!” and a crazy high-pitch whistle]

You know I, I found the simple life, weren’t so simple, no
When I jumped out on that road
Got no love, no love you’d call real
Got nobody waiting at home

[This is where he get’s REALLY excited]

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..yah!

Runnin’ with the devil
Oh God! Oh God, I’m running! [I think this is what he really says!] Awwwwwww..yeah!
Runnin’ with the devil
Uh! Uh! Now one more time!

[short solo]

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..yah!
Runnin’ with the devil
Ahhhh..yeah…ahhh yah!
Runnin’ with the devil
Ooh! Woooo!
Runnin’ with the devil
Ahhhhhhaaaaaaa..yah! Ah ha yeah! Ah ha yeah! Ooh!

---

Shortly after recording this song, David Lee Roth passed out from being so awesome.